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Nothing was too minuscule to share. Needless to say we had to deal with many questions from friends and families about where the relationship was headed. We knew they all meant well but we were still frustrated with their lack of understanding. Somehow, we knew we wanted to be together. The logistics though were a bit convoluted. He could not seem to find a job in the US, and I could not seem to figure out what I would do in Europe; but we persisted. Being very pragmatic people in our lives, we sat down and came up with a project. The goal was to be together. We just have to figure out how.
Then we decided to think "outside the box". What if we both relocated to somewhere new, a neutral ground where neither one of us had the advantage of familiarity, friends, or family? And so the idea to move to Australia was born. In the summer of , we got married. A week after our wedding, my husband had to fly back to Germany to continue working.
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The skepticism about our relationship continued, but we knew we had a plan. We had just found out that we could both move and work in Australia, but the paperwork would take time. So, for a little while longer, we had to live on separate continents. Many people would ask me how we kept such a relationship going. Out of curiosity, I went online to find out if people dated across continents.
I found out very quickly that we were not unique; we even have a name! The world has become more global now and people are traveling around the world for various reasons. Falling in love with someone who lives miles away is not uncommon.
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So, couples are finding ways to keep relationships going. The advantage of that is that you are in this perpetual honeymoon. Everything is temporary and thus exciting. You want to savor every last second of your time together so everyone is on their best behavior, and every meeting is an adventure. The disadvantage of these long-distance relationships is that you are on a perpetual honeymoon.
You never get to be around each other long enough to be in mundane moments and moods; to not look or feel your best, to have your differences and be able to resolve them in an amicable manner, while still being two different individuals, and this is something that geographical singles should be aware of. Having an end point to when you will no longer be in separate geographical locations helps you to keep going. Without this plan, the relationship faces the danger of fizzling out and dying.
While in their case they were saying goodbye, I like to think of long-distance relationships as walking on opposites sides of a great wall with plans to meet in the center but not for a farewell embrace but for a reunion. This keeps you climbing those mountains and weathering bad days. You know there is a goal. I also like to think that love and respect go hand in hand. If you think your partner is worth fighting for, then you don't hold back. Both parties should be willing to move or relocate. Today, as I write this, I am sitting in our Sydney apartment with our 8-month-old son in my arms waiting for my husband to come home from work.
I left Pittsburgh two years ago and moved to Germany briefly while my husband finished working on projects. Three months later, we bought a one-way ticket to Sydney, Australia. We have seen each other at our best and worst. Definitely no blind love here.
We both agree that we would do it all again in a heartbeat. People ask us how we made it work. My answer is that we were very honest with each other from the beginning. We knew we wanted to be together, and were both willing to do what it takes. All those Skype dates and chats over the phone, all the planning to see each other every three months, is all behind us now.
Today, when I ask my husband what he is most grateful for, he simply likes to say, he is grateful that we figured out how to be together. So, to you reading this, wondering if that holiday romance will amount to anything, my advice is simple: Be honest with each other, and clear about your intentions. Plan to see each other often, and communicate; and one day, when you are finally together, you can look back at your long walk on opposite sides, and celebrate your embrace that will last forever.
If you are an InterNations member and would like to contribute an article, do not hesitate to contact us! Maggie Hari was born and raised in Nairobi, Kenya. After high school she went to college in the US and worked there for many years. Recently, she has relocated to Sydney, Australia, where she currently lives with her husband and little boy. She also likes meeting new people and enjoying a good conversation over good food, wine, or coffee.
Join now Log in Email. Keep me logged in. Log in Join now. Long-distance relationships are challenging and can often put a damper on expat life.
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InterNations member Maggie tells us how, after falling in love with another expat, she and her partner made it work anyway and how you can also manage to overcome the hurdles of a long-distance relationship. The Difficulty of Life as a Third-Culture Kid Did you grow up in one culture, your parents came from another, and you are now living in a totally different country? Then you are a third-culture kid! Yet being a third-culture kid is not always easy; in fact many hardships may arise from this culture-hopping phenomenon.
Third-Culture Kids as Parents. Third-Culture Kids Have you ever met someone born in Brazil, who grew up in Scotland, went to school in Montreal and now works in Mumbai? People with this background are called third-culture kids — globally mobile youngsters whose lifestyle rivals that of any adult expat. Learn more about them from this article! Following your partner overseas is difficult, sometimes more so if the partnership is unconventional.
InterNations highlights some difficulties which you might face on your assignment abroad. InterNations highlights common issues and different strategies to make your intercultural relationship or international marriage work! Expat Children Are you proud parents of expat children? If you have a date with a Brazilian, be prepared to receive a lot of compliments!
When it comes to dating Brazilian women, Non-Brazilians a. Likewise, the family is an important element that weaves across all aspects of daily life. So whilst in many other cultures, getting to know the family of a partner signal that the relationship is serious, it is quite normal in Brazil to get to know the family shortly after a first date. America has quite clear dating rules. The most important thing is not to engage in sex whilst under the influence of alcohol. If someone is in the dating game, it is normal to dating multiple people at once.
On the first date, the man usually pays for the evening. Also of note is that many Americans wait to get married before having sex. In the Netherlands, equality is self-evident and this is also reflected in their dating rules. If a woman likes a man then it is quite normal for her to ask him out on a date.. The dress-code for a first date in a country of enthusiastic bicycle culture is rather casual and at the end of the date, couples will usually split the bill.
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In France, the french take dating to another level and are in principle very direct. A kiss means from now on you are a couple.
Equally, there are no rules on how long you should wait for a date with a call. If a man is interested in a French woman, he will typically ask her out on a date. There is a high chance that she will refuse,but this is a common dating behaviour to check to see if the man is serious about the date or not.
If the man is serious then he should ask the woman out again. If you want to end a relationship or the date in France then you should say this very clearly.. Simply not calling, is not enough in France. Japanese culture has many rules of etiquette and courtesy and the same applies to dating.
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Many Japanese people attach great importance to punctuality , so you should never be late to a date. A relationship in Japan develops very slowly ; first you meet in groups with friends and if you are really interested in each other then dating will develop naturally. Public displays of affection are not common or widely accepted in Japan they tend to be much more reserved and private.
In Korea as well, it is important to avoid affection in public holding hands is ok. Splitting the bill when you are out for a meal with friends is the norm. But on a date the bill is usually all paid for by one person. Typically this used to be the man but as the role and working and earning power of women has increased, it is becoming increasingly common for women to pay for a date as well.
In a relationship, the months or years for anniversaries are not celebrated or counted. Instead units at intervals of days are the way people track how long they have been in a relationship or seeing someone. In Australia there are really no rules when it comes to dating.
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