This was part of a traditional system for socializing. Once the toilets were built and water was piped to the houses, these opportunities of socializing were wiped-out. Well, aint that something? While interviewing couples for the love documentary, some of them told me they used to meet late in the night, and I always wondered how the girls would sneak out of their homes in the dark — how they would escape the scrutiny of their parents, but this article certainly explains a lot.
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Instead, he would ask an older sister, or woman, to accompany her. Often, the person accompanying the girl will be in on the trick. Now, the lovers have to make the meeting as quick as possible, for staying out too long might raise suspicions. The conversation would go something like this. Were you pooing bones? I wish I had this kind of information while I was interviewing the lovers.
It might have made their testimonies a notch more interesting. But even back home in Uganda, I know some girls would sneak out of home in the pretext of going to the bathroom, and instead meeting with their boyfriends. You see, makeshift bathrooms are used in rural Uganda, as well as in some urban areas. The walls are made of banana fibres, or papyrus. It is thus easy to make a hole in such a make-shift wall.
I once heard of a married women who was bathing in the night, or her husband thought she was bathing. But she had to bend over to pour bathe — the water being in a basin — well, when she did that, she put her punnynanny on the hole in the wall. Behind the wall, her secret lover was waiting — he poked her doggy style.
Her husband was suspicious of the noises, so he sneaked to the bathroom to investigate. He stood at a distance and peeped. From the lights of the lamp that the woman had taken with her, he saw his wife making weird movements and groans as she threw water over her body. The husband was about to give it up as female eccentricities when he heard her lover groaning in pleasure.
He figured out the trick at once and charged into the bathroom. I hear the lover came as he was fleeing for his life. You May Also Like: P and I have sketched out many ideas on how we want our household to be, and a blog seemed to be a nice way to document that journey. I am hoping to meet others in similar types of circumstances and to exchange ideas and stories. I look forward to sharing experiences in the future! Thanks for the writing, and keep it! It would be great to here more about your experiences raising a Nepali daughter and living in Kathmandu!
Initially my daughter went to international schools, but then she changed into an Italian school. It was not easy for her, but this was the only way to have her become acquainted with the country where she was living. I have tried with all my strength to keep her Nepali side alive and strong, and today she is proud of being such. But often here, in Rome, people confuse her with Chinese or Japanese girls! Besides, it has been difficult to keep strong her Hindu component, since there are practically no Hindu temples and my personal knowledge about Vedas and so on, is not sufficient.
Also for the language, it has not been easy, even if I read, write and speak Nepali. But once we went back to Kathmandu together for a month, after the first few days, the language gradually came back! An incredible experience since this happened after 18 years she had left Nepal! But finding each other has been for both of us a huge gift, a gift from life, a gift from Bagwan. The end is that we both consider each other half Nepali and half Italian — my daughter — and half Italian and half Nepali — me, the mother!
When your daughter was young did you talk to her in Italian, Nepali or a combination of both? When and if P and I have kids some day we really want to raise them bilingual. I guess the best way to do this is to speak Nepali in the home and the kids can learn English from my relatives and at school… but I have to get to that point first! What were your experiences? So that in the very least, when my kids are speaking to eachother I will be able to understand them. I spent 2 lovely years in Nepal where the magic happened and we got married.
And which documents did they ask to have from your side? I just spent the last four months in Nepal. I met a guy there and we hit it off. After time we became really close trekking all over the mountain area outside of Pokarah.
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We fell in love. I met his family and they adored me. But not easy because of the language barrier. I came and went to Nepal twice within that four months to see him. I was in India between this time. However now that I am home in the U. I am terrified at how different our two cultures are. I think of the shock it would be to bring someone into the U. His family was more concerned about the quality of my heart. He can speak English pretty well, but his English reading and writing is not so well. He is now taking classes to catch up.
I feel a sense of guilt, not knowing any of his language and expecting him to quickly learn mine, he is of course not in the least bit worried. Have any insights, suggestions, comments? I am trying to find the title of a book I read a few years ago about a British? It was really interesting, but I read it in India, so I am not sure if you can find it here.
They marry and he returns to the UK with her. After sometime they decide to travel to Tibet and live a nomadic life style with his family for a year, then return to the UK again. What are your plans? Do you hope to go back or will you try to have a long distance relationship?
Does he want to try and come to the US? Thankyou for that book suggestion! I also saw that book in Dharmsala book shop. Great now I can order it.
For now we skype all the time. And miss eachother a lot. But we stayed comfortably in other villages with Nepali people. So dynamic compared to our culture.
In my case, there is big difference in educational background. I had soo many years of education am currently doing my 2nd Masters , and he had some and then went through the school of life. And we somehow just fit. It was always me as an individual moving between them. Was very happy to see this site. It will surely help my hubby who is a non-Nepali. Nepal has a great deal of invisible rules that are known to natives but just unknown to foreigners, much like any culture.
Love reading your blog. It would be interesting to hear more from you as well! He himself is somewhere inbetween those two cultures with a dose of Westernisation from living in Thailand and working with tourists for the last years. Which makes it very hard at times to know what to expect. Another issue is that he speaks Burmese with a few Nepali words, his mother speaks only Nepali and his friends and the rest of the family speak varying mixtures of the two languages. We are both not very religious which I think helps in intercultural relationships — I had no problems to participate fully in a Hindu wedding ceremony to make his family happy.
One of his cousins translated the whole time while we were doing it, to give me an idea what it was that I was doing! It was kind of funny — before we married nearly everyone has always been very nice to me when I visited, but after we were married there were some subtle changes that indicated I was somehow more accepted now. It was more ok for me to walk around by myself for instance. I am an American girl from Ohio and have been dating my Nepali boyfriend for over 3 years and we recently got engaged.
Welcome and congrats on the engagement! I think you will enjoy Nepal, it is a beautiful and interesting country. I look forward to hearing more about your experiences as well: Malaai dherai kushi laagyo! I just stumbled across your blog. Are you in Nepal now? I am in the US, but I have visited Nepal a few times. I wish I could have studied there it would have helped me so much with language learning! I had a friend who went on the Pitzer program a few years ago… was that the program?
He is working as a Taxi Driver There. Anyway, right this time me and my partner often discussing over the matter about him wanting me to go back UAE and join him and also maybe get a work there of course, right now I am already in Phils, and having good work, pay is also good enough, its been already 1 year and 1 month that im here in Phils. But I am proposing to him that he goes home in nepal, then we marry and I live and join him in nepal. Just I dont want to go back UAE. I am thinking maybe he is worried of the kind of life that he can provide for me if this time we settle in nepal because of the limitions of the opportunity he could get being him not so educated.
So Im thinking if I can get a work from there that way I could help him, and that way we could still enjoy at least decent life style. Do u have idea of the chances to get good work in nepal for a foreigner and specifically for a Phils woman, with a civil engineering background? I tried look over the net about anything concerning this.
On August Im going nepal for 3 weeks visit. Hi Mak, I asked around a little. It seems as though there is a website called NepalJobs. Good luck and enjoy your trip to Nepal! I just came across your blog when I was looking for a picture of the sleeping Vishnu to show my 3 year old daughter. We plan to visit it this weekend.
The Fun of Dating in Nepal - Dilman Dila
Good luck on the language lessons! Your content on Nepali weddings is fascinating, and we would love to reproduce it on our site with all due credits and links. Drop me an email should you be interested in providing us permission? Also for further details. Hi, I just came across your blog through a tag on WordPress. I imagine that could be awkward since the KTM community can feel so small sometimes. Looking forward to checking out your blog as well… looks great! I love your blog, I too am married to a nepali man. It is difficult to find others in the same situation, there are very few american-nepali households out there!
I was wondering if you could give me any tips on travel there. I will be visiting kathmandu for a month with my husband and my 7 month old son. I have never been there and have never met his family. I speak very little nepali, and his family speaks very little english. Any advice you would give me? I am more than a little nervous! Any faux pas that stand out in your mind? Be careful about eating with your left hand and touching people with your feet I guess those are the big faux pas- particularly the feet thing.
Me too, I am in a relation with a Nepali man. Although our situation is not quite the same. We are living km apart. Gonna drop by here frequently, now that I found you in the blogosphere. Saludos from Germanepal, Mrs Khatri. Hi, I know this is totally random, but I figured you might be a good source to ask. The nearsest Indian Store for spices and other goods is about 2 hours away.
So I was wondering if you know of anywhere or any sites I might could order from? Also, if you have any idea of where to get one or not, could you possibly delete this after reading? My fiance is Indian and we are currently living in India. I love your blog. Wanted to congratulate you for this wonderful effort! Its a delight to go through it. I am glad I found your blog! A Nepali and an American Fall in Love..
I look forward to reading your blog. J, I completely understand that family situation. We have been married two years and have a baby. No regrets of course but it can be difficult at times. Hi sis, Happy to go through your blog and im having a lot of queries that are getting cleared away from the stated conversations above regarding an American-Nepali relationship. Just give me some suggestions. There is a stigma about American women, and me being an American man, I can totally agree with some of them.
Not all American women are the same. Some just want to be a part of a culture that is NOT American. Their cultures are soooooo diffrent, they cant get along at all.
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My mom is a practical down to earth american girl and my dad is a completly strict, steadfast nepali all the way. Sorry to break it to you but nepali and american cultures are like polar opposites. Trust me ive been living with it for 14 years. I have an American mother and Nepali father. The cultures are not polar opposites. Family is a family, and they all have the same underlying themes, but just different ways of showing it. One word of advice tho: I was raised in America and unfortunately we spoke only basic Nepali around the house. I wish I grew up speaking more.
I am married to a Nepali man and I am american, we have a one year old son. We get along great and work well together as a couple despite the cultural and religious differences. It has been hard for his family to accept me even after 2 years of marriage. Despite all of this we are very happy. It can workout after all as I know many happy Nepali-American couples who have been married a long time. I have jus completed my SLC exams and while I wait for my results to come out I have started a blog — http: We have been married for 6 wonderful years and I am very lucky that his family accepts us and our kids.
I have noticed that a lot more American's are married to Nepali men than I thought. Congrats on your marriage. I am from Nepal and have been living here in the the US for few years. In fact, she is the one who told me about this blog and came to know and I doubt she has learnt more about Nepal and Nepalese culture from this blog than from me.
Your blog is really nice.
And I hope you will be able to resolve your present problem about immigration with your husband. As a man it is better not to sit next to a woman and not to talk to her. This rule applies in particular to women in their fertile age. Female tourists are free to make contact with Nepali women. As a western woman, it is better not to look Nepali men in the eye. Many men will think you are after something.
Holy places must be entered barefoot, with the exception of churches. Hindu temples you must enter without headdress. In some temples, and always in the garbha griha, the holiest place of a temple, you are not welcome. To visit a mosque, wear clothes that cover you up. Sometimes you are asked to cover your head.
During a service, men are separated from the women. When walking around a Buddhist stupa, walk to the left, so clockwise. It is not appreciated when tourists make pictures in front of a Buddha statue. In Jain monuments it is not permitted to take leather objects inside shoes, bags, belts etc. Sikh temples should be entered covered up and with something to cover your head. Begging is partly a socially accepted activity. However, most inhabitants of Nepal will loudly show that they disapprove of the same practice.
Shoestring has the rule never to give money to children, if anything some fruit or something else to eat. Preferably not sweets, there are hardly any dentists in these parts. It is accepted to give to elderly people or invalids. The truth behind each beggar can be very different. One or two indeed has to beg for their food, but most are forced to pay for their place in a house with this activity.
Besides, the number of drug and alcohol addicts is on the increase. It is wisest to give to a well-reputed charity. It is legitimate for beggars to sit near the exit door of temples and mosques and wait for baksheesh alms.
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